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April 14, 2008
“The Jerusalem Duality” The Big Bang Theory
“The Chain of Screaming” How I Met Your Mother
Any show with a laugh track generally turns me off, but these two pretty much amuse me enough to attempt to ignore it. However, tonight both shows almost made me wish I hadn’t watched live. The commercials made it almost not worth it. So if you’ve never seen these shows, don’t judge based on tonight’s episodes. Let’s start with a Bang…
I love nerds and geeks (no, not the kind who eat weird sh*t for the hell of it). Smart guys turn me on, so this show was a must-see for me when it first started airing. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. The jokes are predictable, the acting is, for the most part, terrible, and they somehow managed to find the most annoying chick on Earth to play the love interest. Still, there is Sheldon. Ahh, Sheldon. He has the best lines, and the writers are catching on to the fact that he is the only funny actor on the show. Tonight’s episode was Sheldon-centered, in that he has an identity crisis when a 15-year-old Asian kid appears at the university and criticizes Sheldon’s research. When Sheldon realizes the kid is right, his world crumbles around him. The rest of the episode involved Sheldon’s attempts to find a new calling while annoying all of his friends in the process. Sheldon wins in the end, though, when the kid scores with a chick, successfully distracting him from future Nobel prizes. As Sheldon says, “Screw him, he’s weak.”
Though Sheldon can normally do no wrong in my eyes, tonight was not one of his strongest episodes. I did enjoy Sheldon’s dig at Penny when she, puzzled as always, mentions she doesn’t understand why this kid being smarter than him is such a big deal. In true Sheldon form, he replies, “Of course you don’t. You’ve never excelled at anything.” Only Sheldon has the guts to tell this girl how dumb she really is, as the rest of the cast is too busy drooling over her to make even a semi-intelligent remark in her presence, which doesn’t make sense to me. She’s just…not that hot. I was also entertained by Sheldon’s idea to win the Nobel Peace Prize by building a new Jerusalem (Nuevo Jerusalem!) in the Mexican desert in order to solve the Middle Eastern crisis (Good Lord.) He even gets the line of the night, “Engineering…where the noble, semi-skilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello oompa-loompas of science!”
Unfortunately, every other joke fell flat. This show is at its best when it underplays the stereotype it’s based on. Johnny Galecki (Leonard) seems to be mocking the entire idea he could possibly be a nerd in real life, and it always pulls me right out of the episode. Don’t deny it, Johnny…You’re typecast as a whiny loser in your roles for a reason.
Ack. Out of the negativity and into your Mother…
How I Met Your Mother should be called “The Barney, Marshall, and Lily Show.” Ted’s okay, and Robin is just trying to stay relevant to the story. (Though my attitude towards her could become much more positive in the near future, as I hear Robin Sparkles will be making another appearance alongside Tiffany!)Tonight’s show was Marshall-icious. The episode started strong with Marshall struggling to walk into the bar after a bad day at work muttering, “Beer…beer…” like it was a swan song. It would have been funnier if it wasn’t so achingly familiar…Ahem. The stress of being a corporate lawyer is finally getting to Marshall, so much so that he cries after his boss yells at him. It’s amusing enough to watch his friends in a fantasy sequence give him some advice on how to handle a screaming maniac on the job, but it doesn’t get particularly good until Barney reveals the genius that is “The Chain/Circle/Pyramid of Screaming,” which involves yelling at someone littler than you in order to deal with the big people yelling at you. Not the best Barney-ism, but I laughed. (Speaking of Barney…What the hell does he do?? Post your theories in the forum.)
The beginning would be great if it stayed…you know…at the beginning of the show. But the rest of the episode is Marshall whining and quitting his job. Nothing in particular stood out to me, though I’ve come to have high expectations for “How I Met Your Mother.” Consider this week’s tag…Marshall and Lily f***ing in the kitchen. We get it, you’re both horny. If we didn’t get it before, Lily reminded us the entire episode. Now, consider the tag from the episode before this one: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney) revisits his Doogie Howser days by writing in a blog to the tune of the Doogie theme song, “Even though I didn’t find the mystery girl…I did find out something important about myself. I’m awesome.” Yes, Barney. Yes, you are. Still, if we’re giving out a line of the night, let’s give it to Jason Segel (Marshall) in honor of his new movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” that comes out on Friday.
“You’re mom’s a slut, and I’m sorry Barney, but you and your brother clearly have different fathers, and you know why? It’s probably because your mom is a slutty slut!”
4/13/2008
“In Lieu of Flowers”
Only Lucy can get off right after talking about her recently deceased publisher’s hard on in a body bag. And that’s why I love her.
Yes, “Dirt” is my dirty little secret, that guilty pleasure I just can’t stop watching. To be honest, it could be the fact someone so closely connected to the tabloid fodder could executively produce and star in a show that pulls its story lines from the hottest tabloid stories and embellishes them even more. Sometimes I wonder if we’re getting more of the story than the real tabloids report. Could be wishful thinking on my part. My name is Dominique, and I’m a tabloid whore.
I was a bit disappointed this episode was more drama than comedy, but you win some, you lose some. What makes me even more disappointed is this could be the last episode ever, seeing as how there were only seven episodes produced before the writer’s strike, and there’s no word yet on whether or not FX will order any more. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, anyone else? Let me know in the forums. On to tonight’s headlines…
Yes, Brent Barrow is dead. Lucy’s mom is dead. It’s a depressing way to kick off an episode, and all the death and emotion brought this one down a bit.
I don’t think Lucy could ever be too cold, and her few show of emotion are a little off-putting, but my one exception to this rule is her relationship with Don Konkey. That’s why I was so happy to hear Lucy tell him, “I’m glad to see that you’re healthy enough to stand to for me” when he blows a big story in order to protect Sharlee Cates, the Britney Spears of the Dirt world. (More on Sharlee in a moment.)That relationship is allowed to have some feeling, I suppose, and Don’s character and his relationship with Lucy is the one thing that brings some depth to this silly little dramedy. Sure, they have their little social commentary on the perils of fame, the viciousness of the paparazzi, blah blah blah, but we’ve heard it all before. The one interesting, real aspect of t his show is the genuine, platonic love they have for each other, and even she knows that deep down that crazy little man is the only thing keeping her likeable to the general audience.
Sharlee Cates. I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with her character. I know, I know, we’ve seen her story before, the shaving of the head, the hot Madonna kiss, but there’s something so sweet and vulnerable about Ashley Johnson’s portrayal of the character that makes me want to hold her and tell her everything will be all right.
My major turn-off on this show is the relationship drama. Lucy and Holt, will they or won’t they? Of course, at the end of this episode, they decide they’re “on again,” but how long will that last, and honestly, who cares? The only good part of watching that relationship unfold is we sometimes get to see Lucy half naked. But couldn’t they have found a hotter guy, someone whose eyes don’t scream, “I just smoke a blunt all by myself!” Half the time, I’m not sure Josh Stewart (who plays Holt McLaren) is actually awake for his scenes.
Willa and Farber are only a little more entertaining, and even with their volatile love affair, I find myself zoning out. Willa betrayed sweet, sweet Farber by turning his gay actor friend into a story. Good going Willa, you’ve proven you’re a huge b*!ch. Too bad you’ll never play that role as well as Lucy.
So, a little bit of a bummer if this is a series finale. Lucy did have one good line, however, when the new boss Adam Proteau confides he found a sex tape of Lucy and Brent Barrow. It makes for a great reveal when we find out it’s Willa in a wig on the tape, but it also gives Lucy the line of the night.
“Barrow and me? Give me some credit. I wouldn’t bang him with your d!<k.”
April 11, 2008
“Six of One”
I came upon Battlestar Galactica in a strange way. I’m not going to lie, it was Dwight Schrute. Dwight’s emphatic love for all things Battlestar piqued my interest, and after watching the miniseries, I had to know how it all would end. So here we are, at the beginning of the last season, and I’m not ready to start letting go. Granted, it’s not great acting, but what sci-fi show do you know ever really had great actors? It’s all about the suspense of what “could” happen to humanity in the future.
The last episode ended with Kara Thrace pointing a gun at President Roslin, all because no one seems to believe our unbreakable hero actually knows where to find Earth. Ironic, seeing as how it was easy enough for a doped up President Roslin to convince anyone important her visions were worth listening to. Then again, Mary McDonnell (Roslin) is not nearly as annoying as Katee Sackoff (Trace) when she’s whining about saving the world. Oh, that and when Roslin saw imaginary snakes, she didn’t freak out and ACT like a crazy person the way our precious Starbuck did. Kara Thrace, you’re not helping your case...Meanwhile, that doesn’t seem to bother our Lee Adama, where in yet another ironic twist, he is the one visiting Kara in a cell to grab some tail before he takes off for a new, cushy government job. And, on the plus side, we find out he’s not cheating this time, as at his
good-bye party it becomes pretty clear he and Dee are divorced. (Remember his
last exchange with her before boarding the ship? “Looks like you got the
house.”) So, with our consciences clear, let’s move on to the Cylon side of the galaxy.
Seems to me the Cylons are more and more human as time goes by...Discord among the clones runs rampant as they try to decide whether or not to continue attacking the Battlestar fleet, as the Raiders seem pretty convinced “THE FINAL FIVE” are on the ship with the humans. Here’s what I don’t get: Who cares? If they’re Cylons, they’ll just come back anyway, right? I’m sure a better explanation will follow. Either that, or I’ll hold a grudge against the writers for getting inconsistent on me now in such an obvious way. Regardless, though the vote is evenly split, one of the Eight’s decides to vote against her own type! Strange things are happening on the Cylon world. So, with the threat of all the intelligence being taken away from their more machine-like pets in order to calm their aversion towards attacking the humans, Number Six takes matters into her own hands and gives their bipedal pets (the Centurions) just enough intelligence to get pissed and blow away the tyrannical council of a few Dorals, Simons, and a Cavil. Oh, Six…not only are you the hottest Cylon ever, you’re also an anarchist! We belong together.
Other important things: Baltar is now seeing
himself in visions (unacceptable… Six is always hottest in Baltar’s
head) and screwing yet another Cylon (one of the
final five, no less!) and babbling on and on about his religion. So, things
aren’t so different on that front. And, how can we end a recap without
mentioning that, oh yeah, Admiral Adama decides to
give Starbuck a chance. Who didn’t see that one coming? He has a thing for the
crazies and a strong sense of denial. I hope one day the fate of all humanity
rests in the hands of people such as these. My major question: Who is the last of the final five? Post/Vote your
opinions in the forum. My major complaint: I need more Tricia Helfer (Number Six) in my life. Seriously, she’s the best
part of this series, and she even gets the honor of having the best quote of
the night, right before she uses the Centurions to exact her revenge.
“I’ll pray for you… I’ll pray for you hard.”
P.S. A Happy Birthday to Tricia Helfer.
April 10, 2008
“Dinner Party”
Five months. Five whole months I waited for a new episode of “The Office,” and I have to say, it did not disappoint. Not only were “the twins” out in full force (I have a thing for Jan’s boob job), but the entire episode had a distinct second season feel, only with a different kind of Jim/Pam tension. It was light, funny, and refreshing, geared more toward entertainment and less focused on character development.
As an obsessive “Office” watcher, I tend to think every episode contains genius, witty writing and ridiculously comedic acting. I kind of had the feeling after five months of trying to satisfy myself with reruns and replacements, tonight’s episode would be full on orgasm without something to temper my lust for the best comedy on television. So, I watched this episode with a few friends, some of whom rarely watch the show (Bee and Jay), and one who had never seen it (The Jester). Bee warned The Jester that for some people, this show was an acquired taste, and sometimes it takes a few times watching to really enjoy it. Fair warning, but two minutes in, when Dwight started crying, the giggling had already started, and when Jan explained she relieved her stress by going upstairs and SMELLING all her candles, The Jester was on the floor laughing. So, I feel pretty safe in saying it was a good episode.
This episode was written by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, two of my favorite writers for this show as they almost always include a healthy dose of tit jokes and cleavage. (I’m almost positive they had a hand in Jan’s wardrobe decisions.) It began with Michael not-so-subtly tricking Jim and Pam into finally going to his “casa” for some “dinner, drinks, and dancing,” along with Jan, Andy, and Angela. The night just got better and better from there, starting with Jan’s mystery tour of the condo, heating up with the revelation that dinner wouldn’t be served for three hours, and damn near exploding when Dwight showed up unannounced with his “date” (his OLD baby-sitter…see the forum for some speculation on this). I think Pam spoke for everyone watching when he appeared at the door and she whispers, “Awesome.” We’ve known for a while the Jan/Michael dynamic is full of comedic value, and I was thrilled an entire episode focused on the crazy that is Jan and Michael. That relationship has deserved its own episode for a long time. As Jim said, “Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it’s called ‘let’s see how uncomfortable we can make our guests.’ And they’re both winning.” And speaking of uncomfortable relationships, who didn’t die laughing when Angela smashed her ice cream cone into the door of Andy’s car?
One of the reasons I love this show are the little “in-jokes” and seeming shout-outs to other fabulous shows. We finally got to hear Hunter’s band. Angela apparently hates beet salad. “That’s what she said!” And, did anyone else notice the awesome hand chairs in the garage? You know they stole them from the set of “Arrested Development.” (By the way, who would love to see a Tony Hale guest appearance on “The Office”???) It’s so thoroughly good, you have to watch multiple times just to catch all the jokes and references, something you don’t see in many sitcoms. It’s so much easier to go for the broad, easy jokes.
Just so it doesn’t sound like I’m verbally sucking off Gene and Lee, let’s talk about the bad parts of the episode. Umm…there was no tag at the end. Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Gene and Lee, you make me feel dirty.
Next week’s episode is called “Chair Model,” and I hear something BIG happens with Jim and Pam. Seeing as how Jim made it obvious tonight he would see Pam at home later, I’m pretty sure we all know they are f***ing. Does this mean wedding bells and babies are in the future? Then again, he did almost abandon her with Michael and Jan, so they could go all Ross and Rachel on us and break up and get back together and break up and get back together and…Ahem.
I’m off to go plug in my St. Pauli beer neon sign and burn a James Bond Fire-scented candle, but before I go, I’ll leave you with the best line of the night:
Angela: “The thought of popping one of your beets in my mouth makes me want to vomit.”
April 10, 2008
Sure, television has its informational purposes, but that’s not why I watch it. I get my news on the radio on my way to work or on the Internet when I get home. When I watch television, I want to escape from the “reality” of every day life. So why would I want to watch “reality” television? Don’t you have enough insipid, annoying characters in your life without having to go home and watch even more of them get rich on their own shows? So, if you’ve come here for all things TV, you’re in the wrong place. This is the place for all things GOOD TV. I’m covering shows with entertaining characters, solid story lines, and, yes, the sexy actors/actresses that force you to beat off so you don’t accidentally scream their name when you’re screwing someone else. (Don’t lie, everyone has this problem unless your partner’s name is Dr. House or Number Six.)
Still…I want your input. I absolutely love television (can you tell I’m an escapist?) and I’ll try anything once. So send me your suggestions on shows you would like to see covered at dominique@cerbratecoterie.com. Meanwhile, I’ll continue to supply you with your daily (television) fix, including updates on new shows, discussion and news on your favorites, and whatever else you tell me you want. (Oh yeah, baby…I’m that kind of girl.) So, don’t forget to sign up for the forum so you can participate, and send me your suggestions. Just remember...I may do a lot of things, but I don't do reality.
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